Sometimes it can feel like you are all alone and afraid in the world. When I was in school I would pretend everything was okay and that nothing bothered me. But in reality dealing with the Monster at home and the bullies at school pretty much had me believing that no one cared.

I was lost in myself. Always feeling like nothing I did was good enough. I would work my butt off and go above and beyond to make everyone around me happy and make sure they were cared for. I slipped extra money into my mom’s wallet a lot so that she could get gas or anything we needed for the house. I finally told her this a few years back.

I only did it because I knew it would help my mom and make her happy finding some money that she didn’t know she had. At school I would try my best at group projects and help the others with their parts. I felt like the more I did the more they would accept me. Which wasn’t the case. They just used me to get the assignment done and get a good grade on it.

At work I would volunteer to do the most work that way my co-workers and managers would think highly of me. But what I didn’t know was that trying to please everyone else and be what they wanted me to be and hiding all of the pain and hurt I was feeling only made me lost myself more.

Looking back at it now breaks my heart for the lost girl I was. No I am more about taking care of my immediate family and myself. I will help others when I can, but for the most part I am able to stand my ground and say no when I need to.

Sometimes it is hard, but at the same time sometimes others need to hear it and learn how to handle certain situations on their own. There is only so much you can do to help others without losing parts of yourself. Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees. But as long as you keep your happiness and self worth in mind you can find your lost soul and repair your broken heart.